What makes you laugh? Are you puntastic, or a prankster? Do you laugh at wit, or willies? Do you wear a politically incorrect badge, or are you woke ‘n proud?

No-one has ever persuaded or charmed me into bed, but I’ve been laughed into bed more than once. Sharing a sense of humour is a great thing – it’s like sharing a secret. Finding yourself on the same wavelength as another person, knowing you tickle their funny bone (and they yours) is a matchless experience. I would give up a hot sexy bloke over a man who makes me laugh with ease – any day, every day. And I suspect I’m not the only woman who feels that way.

As an online dater, a funny early experiences would include that video call with the ‘doctor’ who went on to tell me he was a stripper on the side. There’d been a lot of flirting and laughter, and I’d – naively – believed we were on the same wavelength, right up until he – unexpectedly and without warning – stood up and went into his stripping routine. I’m afraid I laughed… a lot, if I’m honest, which is when I discovered he’d intended it to be titillating, rather than funny. My sense of humour radar underwent a significant an overhaul after that 😀

The words “good sense of humour” are flung about in the dating world like confetti, but I’ve rarely – if ever – seen it elaborated upon. I know what makes me laugh – I can articulate it and provide examples. But let me count the dates when I’d done just that, only to be subjected to racist or sexist jokes, or relentlessly silly knock knock jokes, or the ‘you had to be there’ stories, or completely incomprehensible shaggy dog stories. I’m well brought up so do generally offer a polite smile – but even when I’m not encouraging, I’ve had to wonder why the jokes and stories just keep coming, thick and fast.

Why wouldn’t everyone want to find that person who really loves their jokes, not one who puts it on to make them feel good, but one who just can’t help laughing? No harm, no foul if your senses of humour don’t match surely? But saying you don’t find someone funny has proven akin to challenging someone’s manhood in my experience. A (male) friend once told me to keep in mind how fragile the male ego is – and this seems to prove how right he is.

So, when you’re out on that coffee date, do check out their sense of humour. Finding out if they could laugh you into bed, might prove to be as important as the presence of that spark for when you’re both older and past your physical best.

What do you check for on your coffee date? Or do you check on their humour before you even leave the house?

© 2022, Debs Carey