When I re-dipped my toe into the world of dating at the grand old age of 50, I was not what you’d call an obvious catch – grey, overweight, with a mumsy dress sense, and decidedly lacking in confidence and self-worth. So, I spent time casting about for inspiration and advice, which is how I fell across Gok Wan’s book How to Look Good Naked. Now I know many people find him intensely annoying, but he was just what I needed at the time. I’ve often said that I’d never have had sex again if I’d not read his book – that’s how life changing it proved to be for me.
Gok provided practical tips, but also knew how to boost confidence, because he’d come from a background of low self-esteem himself. Among his many practical tips was the one about good underwear. The British have long had a love affair with Marks & Spencer for their every day underwear – a practical, pragmatic choice – unlike the French. In short, Gok encouraged us to be more French in our selection of underwear – pretty, enhancing, matching where possible.
Not one for false impressions, I refused to consider control pants and push-em-up bras, but I did start to build up a few sets of comfortable yet beautiful underwear. Yes, they were expensive – but I learned to regard them as an investment in myself and my self-esteem. I didn’t wear them every day – they were far too expensive for that – but I did wear them every time I went on a date. On one occasion, when a date was cancelled last minute, I headed out to my local pub to join a group of friends while still wearing my good underwear. Despite these being my good friends with whom I felt confident, comfortable and loved – it was noticed that I held myself differently, that I had a certain something about me. I smiled to myself, for I got that certain something from the knowledge that I was wearing fabulous matching underwear.
You can see why the Dita von Teese quote leapt out at me can’t you – for it’s never about wearing wonderful underwear in order to be ready for the great unveiling, it’s about making myself a priority, about feeling confident and sexy and womanly. It’s about knowing – without a shadow of a doubt – that I was the Prize and they’d be lucky to have me. That’s the value of great underwear. If you don’t already have these items in your wardrobe – go get shopping!
Do you have items in your wardrobe which you love and give your confident a boost – be that a lucky dress, shoes, or…?
© 2022, Debs Carey