There are many questions you’ll ask yourself – whoever you are – once you step into the world of dating, it’s just that the question of when seems like a bigger question than the rest, if you’re seeking a relationship in your mature years. You feel like you’re on the clock, and you worry about the impact of having fallen into the pit of invisibility which happens once you turn 50.

So, asking the questions….

• when will I meet the right person for me?
• when will I have my ideal relationship?

…. is not just valid, but entirely normal and to be expected.

The truthful answer is I don’t know, nor can I give you any form of cast iron guarantee – indeed, no-one can – unless you know someone who’s found a way to foretell the future 😉 For the only things anyone can control – not only in this scenario, but in life – are ourselves, our actions and reactions – but choosing to take control of those aspects can have a huge impact on answering the question of when.

Imagine, if instead of….

• scatter-gun dating, you take the time to hone exactly who the right person for you is – then rather than wasting time with the wrong person, you remain available to meet the right person.

• doing what you’ve always done, you take the time to review what worked, what didn’t, and why – so you’ll avoid wasting time repeating past mistakes, and remain available to meet the right person.

• taking your poor self-worth back out there again, you take some time out to build your self-worth back up, to heal some of those past hurts, and to remind yourself just how fabulous you are – then you’ll be able sidestep the wrong person for you, remaining in the game so the your right person can find you.

Let me remind you that the sight of you having a fabulous life is the best way to be attractive to your right person. That not trying too hard makes you attractive to everyone (including some of the wrong people, so you’ll need to keep those filters active).

The best relationships are formed between people who are content with themselves and the lives they have, because they’re only looking for the cherry on top, rather than making another person responsible for making them happy.

In my circle of mature female dating friends was one such wise woman. She knew her worth, she knew what she was looking for, she maintained her boundaries with anyone who didn’t meet her criteria, she stayed in the game and she waited. And while she waited, she focused on living a full & happy life. Did she meet her right person? Why yes, yes she did – and they’re now happily married. If you asked her if the wait was worth it, I don’t doubt her answer would be a resolute and loud yes 🙂

What questions do you ask yourself when you’re trying to make a decision?

© 2022, Debs Carey