Category: Uncategorized
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P: Past Patterns: are they working for you?
I touched on stuff we learn from our parents in yesterday’s post, but I’m afraid there’s still a bit more to come on patterns from the past, because they can also be formed in adulthood. Do you find the relationships you’ve had fall into a pattern? Not that you have a physical type, but that…
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O: Oh don’t make it all about my parents!
I know, I know, no-one wants to end up like their parents, and they certainly don’t want to think about their parent’s relationship – let alone get into Freud and Jung and all that psychology. But…. The thing is we start learning how to be from our parents. We learned how to form attachments from…
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N: Never gonna give you up (or Obsessional Love)
Hollywood – and Disney in particular – are at fault for perpetuating the myth of “the one”. The Big Love, the other half to our whole, the one who’ll complete us, our soulmate. It means there’s an expectation of fabulousness and fireworks, rather than boring stuff like trust, respect, responsibility and loyalty. I worried there…
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M: Money – it can’t buy you love
John Lennon was right – money can’t buy you love, what it can buy you is someone who’s looking for a Sugar Mummy (or Sugar Daddy, when the boot is on the other foot). But that’s not love – it’s a financial transaction. When I was in my early twenties, a millionaire made such a…
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L: Love Bombers: why they’re dangerous
So why do I say it’s dangerous? For two reasons. The first is that it’s manipulative behaviour, and the second is that you’re more susceptible to this type of behaviour if you’re vulnerable – when you’ve been hurt, if you’re a people pleaser, if you’ve come from a dysfunctional background, or you’re simply kind, caring,…
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K: Kink: If it’s your thing, should you share it?
There’s no point talking about dating and relationships and avoiding the between the sheets stuff. Kink is out there – it comes in all kinds of forms and generally takes place between consenting adults. Some people are curious and use dating as an opportunity to dip a toe in, while others are ashamed of their…
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J: Just Divorced: snap ’em up or avoid?
New blood to the world of dating often comes in the forms of the freshly divorced. On dating sites, they used to have what I (somewhat cynically) referred to as the “fresh meat” flag. It was a methodology for drawing attention to anyone new to the site, ensuring they received immediate attention and so were…
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I: Independence: how much do you want to keep?
I mentioned in an earlier post that nearly half of first marriages end in divorce. Another statistic is that women instigate 2 out of 3 of those divorces. Despite the practical and financial load which those women go on to bear post divorce, the statistics state that they thrive. So, when you’ve worked hard to…
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H: Happiness: what does that look like for you?
There are almost as many quotations on the subject of happiness as there are versions of it. For some, happiness is having survived a serious illness or accident, or the ability to live a life safe from fear or money worries. For others, it’s about having their loved ones around them, or living the lifestyle…
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G: Good looks: how much do they matter?
Back in those days when dating was done via online profiles, where the first thing you were encouraged to do was to list the physical attributes of the person you were looking for – height, eye and hair colour, body type – all higher up the list than personal qualities. Did I consider it odd?…
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