About

Dating Coach & Mentor for women in their fabulous fifties and beyond, so they can have fun while finding The One.

Fully insured.

A member of the Association for NLP, I practice in accordance with its ethics and professional standards. For more details, click here.

I’m Debs Carey and I help women over 50 to see they don’t need to wait to be chosen, they get to choose.

I’ve worked across various areas – career change, work-life balance, grief, relationship issues, lack of confidence, and handling the challenges of depression and anxiety. It’s been on my mind for some time to focus on relationship coaching, but I’ve been seeking a specific area where I knew I could add personal value.

Then I saw an online discussion about how beautiful women find themselves in relationships where they were treated badly. Now the simple reason for this is that they lack self-worth, not that they don’t believe they’re beautiful. Being beautiful, believing you’re beautiful, even knowing you’re beautiful, means absolutely nothing if you don’t believe you deserve to be loved. For I’ve seen gorgeous women in poor relationships and ordinary looking women in wonderful relationships. Good looks do not automatically equal good self-worth.

As someone who has never been a beautiful woman and had to overcome the belief I was only worthy of the scraps left over, I know that whether you allow yourself to end up in a bad relationship or hold out for a good one, is all about your self-belief, self-esteem, self-love, self-worth. It’s all about you, and your relationship with yourself. And I did it all after my 50th birthday.

Things went right and things went wrong. There was a lot of fun and laughter, together with some heartbreak. Before I finally got it right, I had to step back and take stock. By doing so, I remembered quite how much I loved my life (outside of dating), which made it easier for me to accept that I could happily live alone. For I’d already put considerable time and effort into building a great life as a mature singleton – time which was undoubtedly well spent.

Nevertheless, acknowledging that my ideal was to live as part of a couple, I put together a very short list of the qualities a person would need to possess in order to make my life better. Then – and most importantly – I didn’t waver from that list. I’ll do a piece sometime showcasing the differences between my “what I’m looking for” list at the start, and at the end.

I’d always been serious about dating, so that wasn’t what changed, rather I became laser focused on what I wanted, and refused to waste time being diverted by anyone else. Not long after, I met my now partner of 10 years.

It really and truly is all about you and the choices you make.

Over the years, I’ve studied psychology, counselling, coaching and NLP. After completing my professional training, it became clear quite how useful the tools & skills I’d acquired would have been to me during those dating years, and now I’m ready to make a difference in your life – are you ready too?


© 2022, Debs Carey